Tag Archives: sandy

In Light of Recent Weather, School District to Close Permanently

11 Feb

ALBANY (Lighter Side of the Moon) – In response to the extreme weather impacting our area recently, the Gloversville, NY school district will be canceling school indefinitely. The decision came early this morning after snow-related closings on Friday and Monday.

“It was the logical choice for the safety of our students,” Superintendent Jocelyn Kent wrote in an e-mail to parents. “With so many storms, it didn’t make sense for us to keep kidding ourselves and pretending school was a possibility anymore.”

The ability of faculty members to get to work was a factor in the decision. “Our bus drivers live farther east and we’ve received word that most of them are buried in their homes,” Kent wrote. “According to my sources, it is unlikely they’ll ever get out of their driveways again.”

High school principal Jim Pecora said they’ve made preparations for Gloversville students once the schools shut down. When asked by a member of the press how former students would earn a living without schooling, he said, “We anticipate employing all of our students as shovelers in the emergency response to future storms.”

Parents and students alike are up in arms about this decision. Matilda Patterson, mother of students in eighth and fifth grades, worried about the emotional implications this will have on our children. “My kids get so excited every time they cancel school,” she said. “Even though they close schools every time it rains these days, they still get a kick out of it. I think the monotony of a permanent closing will bore them.”

Mike Rosco, a high school junior, thinks the school’s administrators may have had ulterior motives in making this decision. “I think they just got sick and tired of waking up early to check the weather,” he said. “We haven’t had a full day of school since Hurricane Irene, so it probably just wasn’t worth it for them to keep going through the motions.”

This Post is Not About the Election

6 Nov

This post is not about the election. Nor is it about Hurricane Sandy. This is about the thing most antithetical to the pertinent, future-molding events of our week.

Dog sweaters are by far my favorite part of fall. For the first time since spring, it’s chilly enough to put your pooch in a cozy woolen sweater. Halloween is past and with it the tacky tuxedoes and princess costumes that owners put their pets in. Now, you get to do your animal a favor and style it with some warm clothes. If your dog is relentlessly pulling at his sweater and tearing it to shreds, don’t worry! This is just your friend expressing his gratitude for his new threads. So, this autumn, escape the holidays, political brouhaha, and natural disasters with a little bit of doggy dress-up.

If only dogs had some adaptation to stay warm without a sweater, like, say, fur.

The Watertown Feminists E-Newsletter

30 Oct

Hello ladies,

Unfortunately, due to Hurricane Sandy, the Watertown County Feminists will not be meeting this week. However, next week’s meeting at Judy’s house is as scheduled. Due to the scheduling conflict, we will have the pot-luck at Judy’s (dibs on potato salad!) and the bring-a-friend-night will happen in November.

However, just because we aren’t meeting doesn’t mean we are relieved of our duty to fight male chauvinism this hurricane season. Every autumn, we are assaulted by a barrage of anti-women propaganda, as storms are dubbed with an offensive womanly nomenclature. This sly insinuation of the women’s stormy, disruptive characteristics can not be continued, and as proud females for females, we have the power to stop it. The continued naming of tropical storms after women is a crude effort by our own government to paint women as dangerous inconveniences to society, and we must wage our guerilla efforts with increased fervor this hurricane season.

– Lisa

P.S. I still have dibs on the potato salad.

Today’s Random Thought

29 Oct

I saw two statuses:

No school tomorrow!
No, school tomorrow!

The importance of punctuation.

 

 

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