Archive | October, 2013

Single and Ready to ChristianMingle

24 Oct

Online dating can be a minefield of misunderstanding. Piercing the veil of smoke in self-written profiles is nearly impossible for many people. The first dates are often fraught with confusion when the online descriptions don’t translate into reality. The following is a guide on how to imagine the first date based on information from the web:

“Hi, I’m Kiki. I am a classy, articulate girl who loves to have new experiences. I am thrifty, optimistic, and I always speak my mind.  My passions include horseback riding and the theatre.”

“classy, articulate”

KIKI: Do you drink a lot of wine?
YOU: Not really, no.
KIKI: Well, you really should try this Bordeaux. The layers of apricot and pear really pair nicely. It’s got this bold flavor, but I just can’t quite figure what it is…
YOU: Red wine?
KIKI: No, it’s something more than that. They were just talking about it in Wine Aficionado, which is a magazine that I subscribe to.
YOU: Interesting.
KIKI: You can basically tell how good a wine is by how many vowels there are in the name.


KIKI: I’ll have the filet mignon, please.
WAITER: Eight or twelve ounces?
KIKI (to you): You’re paying, right?
YOU (to Kiki): Uh, I guess so, yeah.
KIKI (to waiter): Fourteen ounces, please.
KIKI (to waiter): And can I just get two lobster tails on top of that?
WAITER: That will be a fifteen dollar surcharge.
KIKI: That’s fine, and can I just get an order of twenty-four oysters, please? Don’t bother bringing them to the table, I’m just gonna eat them some other time.


KIKI: This date is going super well, right?
YOU: Yeah. Pretty super.
KIKI: I went to Cancun last summer and it was so beautiful. I can totally see us getting married there. On the beach at sunset, it’d be so gorgeous.
YOU: My parents were in Mexico last year and – wait, what?

“I always speak my mind”

KIKI: The lady behind me is farting like a bulldog.

Fun Columbus Day Celebrations

14 Oct

Columbus Day is sometimes called “Christmas in October”, or “Magellan Day on Steroids”. Yet, many of you likely don’t celebrate this important day with the same zest as other holidays. Here are some creative and crafty ways to get in the Columbus Day spirit this year:

  • Wear a funky exploration-themed sweater to school or work
  • Make cool art projects like hand tracing turkeys or finger painting root vegetables to commemorate the Columbian Exchange
  • For the kids: make Taino costumes at home and organize the children in a parade (Bring shackles for the group if you’re the life of the party)
  • Make fun Columbus tree ornaments in the shape of your favorite virus, like small pox or syphilis
  • Recreate the famous story by walking into someone else’s home and “discovering” it
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