1. My dog ate my homework!
The classic. Where is this mysterious race of paper-eating dogs?
2. I didn’t have time.
If only I could still say this one at work! LOL
3. It was too hard.
If I had a nickel for every time I said this, I wouldn’t know how much money I had because the math homework was always too hard.
4. My dad said he’d help me, but he was at work late.
In all honesty, not the first time Dad let me down.
5. Dad wasn’t even at home this morning to help me before school.
Where could he be?
6. He told my mom he was just getting a pack of cigarettes and some scratchers on his way home.
Mommy, where’s Daddy?
7. I’m not doing my homework until Dad comes back.
What do you mean he’s not coming back?
8. The sound of sobbing was too distracting.
Mommy, stop crying. You said it yourself. He’s gone.
9. I just couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed this morning.
Please, Lord, take this weight off my shoulders.
10. My mommy couldn’t help me with the work, but she’s going back to school at night so she can.
My mommy can be just as good a daddy as that good-for-nothing oaf ever was!
11. I didn’t have time. I was too busy taking on the world, just my mother and I.
I’m going to college in a few years, and when I walk across the stage in my cap and gown, the infinite possibilities of my bright future laid out before me, my wild ambitions twinkling behind my eyes, I want my father to look at me and know that he made the biggest mistake of his life when he walked away.
12. I did the homework, but I left it at home.
I’m serious! I really did it. Would I lie to you?
The Lighter Side of the Moon 