Amidst the uproar surrounding the release of nude photos of A-list stars, a number of celebrities have come out with statements regarding their exclusion from the controversy. Though public opinion has largely been against the illegal hacking of phones and the sharing of compromising personal images without permission, a few brave celebrities have dared to ask why they were left out of the fun.
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Steve Buscemi, an actor that you know as “that guy with the eyes”, called a press conference last week to give his opinion on the matter. “Did anyone ever stop to think that my naked photographs might be just as appealing as Kate Upton’s?,” he said. “I am very disappointed at the media’s refusal to embrace the inherent beauty of the male body. My male body.”
Other men have joined Buscemi’s fight for equality. Raspy-voiced actor Gilbert Gottfried dared the world to download and peruse his nude photographs in a recent interview with Martha Stewart magazine. “How do you know you’re not interested in my pictures? You haven’t even seen them yet!”, he said.
Buscemi suspects that his exclusion from the photo release was deliberate. “My nudie shots are just sitting there on my phone,” he said. “They’re on iCloud! How do you even miss them?”
Buscemi’s tone darkened when asked if he had anything to say directly to the hacker who refused to publish his nude photographs. “You are a cruel and hurtful person. Please do the right thing,” he said, looking directly into a news camera. “Go into my iCloud, find the hi-res photos of my physique, and share them with the world.”
Gottfried echoed Buscemi’s statement regarding the photographs. “Please publish them,” he begged.
At press time, Christopher Walken, Gary Busey, and Roseanne Barr could not be reached for comment.
The Lighter Side of the Moon 