Men. We all know some. Some are skinny. Some are fat. Some are in-between. But odds are, a lot of them feel a little shy when they have to take their shirt off and get in the water.
1. Mike
Come on, Mike. Take off that shirt and get in the pool. We’re playing Marco Polo! Nobody will make fun of you, I promise.
2. Ralph
I don’t care if your fair skin makes you prone to sunburns. Take it off. You look fine shirtless! There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
3. Bobby
We drove 20 minutes to the municipal pool and you just want to spend the day eating cheeseburgers on the pooldeck? Take that dirty shirt off and get in the water!
4. Wayne
Wayne, it’s Spring Break! We’re in Cancun! Get away from the beach bar and go boogie board with those betties in the water! You don’t have a Freshman 15. Wayne, it honestly just exacerbates the problem if you swim in a shirt.
5. President George Herbert Walker Bush
Mr. President, pop that top off and get in! You’re the former leader of the free world, what do you have to fear? Besides, Sir, you’re 91. Your body looks fantastic for a man of your age.
6. You
You went ahead and laughed at Mike, Ralph, Bobby, Wayne, and President Bush. But you know your body isn’t what it once was. And you know for damn sure that you want to spend that REI gift card you got for Christmas on a swimming shirt. But either way, the best way to hide your spare tire is under a big blanket of confidence! Get in the pool!
7. Me
Secret’s out. I cringe when the moment comes to take my shirt off. That’s why I always cancel our beach plans at the last minute. It’s easy for me to mock the other guys from behind my computer. But really, it’s just a way for me to find comfort in numbers.
The Lighter Side of the Moon 