In Light of Recent Weather, School District to Close Permanently

11 Feb

ALBANY (Lighter Side of the Moon) – In response to the extreme weather impacting our area recently, the Gloversville, NY school district will be canceling school indefinitely. The decision came early this morning after snow-related closings on Friday and Monday.

“It was the logical choice for the safety of our students,” Superintendent Jocelyn Kent wrote in an e-mail to parents. “With so many storms, it didn’t make sense for us to keep kidding ourselves and pretending school was a possibility anymore.”

The ability of faculty members to get to work was a factor in the decision. “Our bus drivers live farther east and we’ve received word that most of them are buried in their homes,” Kent wrote. “According to my sources, it is unlikely they’ll ever get out of their driveways again.”

High school principal Jim Pecora said they’ve made preparations for Gloversville students once the schools shut down. When asked by a member of the press how former students would earn a living without schooling, he said, “We anticipate employing all of our students as shovelers in the emergency response to future storms.”

Parents and students alike are up in arms about this decision. Matilda Patterson, mother of students in eighth and fifth grades, worried about the emotional implications this will have on our children. “My kids get so excited every time they cancel school,” she said. “Even though they close schools every time it rains these days, they still get a kick out of it. I think the monotony of a permanent closing will bore them.”

Mike Rosco, a high school junior, thinks the school’s administrators may have had ulterior motives in making this decision. “I think they just got sick and tired of waking up early to check the weather,” he said. “We haven’t had a full day of school since Hurricane Irene, so it probably just wasn’t worth it for them to keep going through the motions.”

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