Tag Archives: black friday

Wal-Mart’s Best Black Friday Deals

29 Nov

6:00 PM Thursday

  • Automatically entered to win a copy of “Commercialist Tramplings: 3D”
  • 50% off Unhappy Sales Employee Action Figure (time with family not included)
  • One free night in a tent at a Walmart of your choosing

8:00 PM Thursday

  • Complimentary nagging thought of what Thanksgiving would have been like
  • 25% off a toaster oven you didn’t know you needed until now
  • $100 off a TV whose horrific reviews seem meaningless at this price

8:00 AM Friday

  • $50 off your child still whining because you bought the wrong iPod
  • 100% off your own value of sleep and relaxation
  • Free sense of impending holiday doom with purchase of discounted Christmas decorations

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Thank You

22 Nov

Before you fall into your turkey coma, I just wanted to tell you that today is the first anniversary of The Lighter Side of the Moon and how thankful I am for your readership over the last year. On another note, if you’re having computer problems and can’t read this post, Wal-Mart doorbusters start in six hours.

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Things You, Unfortunately, Might Hear this Thanksgiving

18 Nov

“We’ve got to get to Wal-Mart by eight, tonight! It’s 65% off tramplings!”

“Had enough of football? There’s still plenty to do this Thanksgiving. Head to the nature center for an in-depth lecture on turkey vocalizations. Or, check out the library’s program on the history of stuffing.”

“Black Friday shopping, huh? Oh sure, go buy a new TV. It’s not like I’ve been elbow-deep in the business end of a turkey, preparing your feast for the last two hours!”

“Your Christmas decorations look lovely.”

“Guys, the tofurkey’s ready!”

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