Wal-Mart’s Best Black Friday Deals

29 Nov

6:00 PM Thursday

  • Automatically entered to win a copy of “Commercialist Tramplings: 3D”
  • 50% off Unhappy Sales Employee Action Figure (time with family not included)
  • One free night in a tent at a Walmart of your choosing

8:00 PM Thursday

  • Complimentary nagging thought of what Thanksgiving would have been like
  • 25% off a toaster oven you didn’t know you needed until now
  • $100 off a TV whose horrific reviews seem meaningless at this price

8:00 AM Friday

  • $50 off your child still whining because you bought the wrong iPod
  • 100% off your own value of sleep and relaxation
  • Free sense of impending holiday doom with purchase of discounted Christmas decorations

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