6:00 PM Thursday
- Automatically entered to win a copy of “Commercialist Tramplings: 3D”
- 50% off Unhappy Sales Employee Action Figure (time with family not included)
- One free night in a tent at a Walmart of your choosing
8:00 PM Thursday
- Complimentary nagging thought of what Thanksgiving would have been like
- 25% off a toaster oven you didn’t know you needed until now
- $100 off a TV whose horrific reviews seem meaningless at this price
8:00 AM Friday
- $50 off your child still whining because you bought the wrong iPod
- 100% off your own value of sleep and relaxation
- Free sense of impending holiday doom with purchase of discounted Christmas decorations
The Lighter Side of the Moon 
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