Tag Archives: political

Mitt Romney on a Sunday Afternoon

22 May

Last week, Mitt Romney held an exclusive brunch at one of the homes in our town. Obviously, the best way for Mitt to avoid my ridicule is to show up at an intimate social setting in the largest mansion in town. So, without further ado, some choice sound bites from the campaign brunch on Sunday.

“America is a land of hard workers. The people are ready to go find a job, but Barack Obama is preventing them. We need someone in-touch with the everyman, someone who gets people like this waiter! While I have your attention, Pablo, I think we ran out of smoked salmon. Oh, and ease up on the caviar. Prices are soaring since belugas went on the endangered species list.”

“I’m sick of the way airlines get special tax exemptions. I try to boycott their businesses because of the way they abuse the consumer. That’s why I always fly charter.”

“Oh, you’re from Mexico? My father was born there. Don’t you just love Acapulco in May? Hello? Hablas ingl├ęs? Where is your green card?”

“The American textiles industry has a lot of growth potential. In fact, it could be one of the biggest job producers. My sweater? Oh, this is hand-made Peruvian cashmere. Please don’t touch it.”

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