Tag Archives: advertising

A Tennis Brand Slam

9 Sep

ANNOUNCER: And now, we’re live with the first press conference for recently crowned U.S. Open champion, Tom Greedy.

TOM: Hey, this is just such a great achievement for me and I’m so happy and I want to thank everyone that’s helped me get here but first, just a quick word from my sponsors:

Nike Tennis has provided the sweat-wicking, performance-enhancing lifewear that kept me on the toes throughout the tournament. Nike Tennis: the only sport clothing that makes you imagine you’re playing better.

Adidas Originals hooked me up with these incredible shoes. With an unparalleled combination of supreme comfort, quality construction, and their proprietary Trak-Shun rubber soles, Adidas shoes will keep you on your feet.

My sweatband came from Under Armour. You saw how sweaty I was during that final set? Oh, you didn’t? Exactly. Under Armour: Hang your opponents up to dry.

My towels came from Mike’s Beach Accessories and Embroidery. Mention this speech and you’ll get twenty percent off your first purchase.

Shout out to Yolanda’s Business Cleaners for picking up the tab on my laundry during the tournament. Their poised, professional service let me stay focused on what I do best, thanks guys.

My signature grunt this year: *hhhyyuuuuuurrrrrggDoohey,Preston,andZimmermanTaxAndBusinessLLC-eeeeeeeeeyyyyyaaaaaggggh* was sponsored by Doohey, Preston, and Zimmerman Tax and Business, LLC. Doohey, Preston, and Zimmerman Tax and Business, LLC: Audit your game!

And finally, huge thanks to my parents for buying me this racquet. It’s really awesome.

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It’s Official

16 Aug

Yesterday, at the Yankee game, I noticed that seemingly every company claims to have an official product of the Yankees. From pudding to mustard to luxury car, nearly every company can claim that their merchandise is “official”. I wondered just how far this advertising trend could go:

ANNOUNCER: And now, a few words from our sponsors.

Keep life moving on the farm with Bjornsson’s, the official animal birthing lubricant of the New York Yankees.

Throw a knuckleball into your digestive system using Ipecac, the official emetic of the New York Yankees.

Enjoy the elegant scenery of Belgium, the official European country of the New York Yankees.

If you’re looking to redecorate, head on over to Ikea, the official hex-wrench assembled furniture of the New York Yankees.

And finally, there’s no better way to spend an afternoon than enjoying some Philadelphia Phillies baseball, the official sports team of the New York Yankees.

 

 

 

(My dad made me write this: I have no affiliation with any of these companies, especially Bjornsson’s animal birthing lubricant.)

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