Allergies

26 Apr

CHARLIE: Good morning! Oh wow, your eyes are so red.

WALTER (calmly): Allergies.

CHARLIE (curious): You sure? They look so puffy. I think they’re oozing.

WALTER: Nope. Just allergies.

CHARLIE (concerned): Do you realize your nose is bleeding profusely?

WALTER: You know, pollen.

CHARLIE: Your hair is falling out! Go to a doctor!

WALTER: I guess the Claritin didn’t work. What’re you gonna do?

CHARLIE: Please, go to a hospital! You’re so jaundiced.

WALTER: It’s just allergies, man! Calm down.

CHARLIE: Oh my God! You’re coughing up blood! I’ll get the nurse!

WALTER: No need. I heard the pollen count is really high this week. (He collapses.)

CHARLIE: You legitimately have ebola. Don’t touch me!

WALTER: Allergies!

2 Responses to “Allergies”

  1. KaylaMiz April 26, 2012 at 6:37 pm #

    This describes my life exactly. Someone tried to convince me the other day that I had the flu, and no matter how adamantly I insisted it was allergies, she still told me I should go home for the day. (Which I did!)

    • wizardofsoz April 30, 2012 at 3:57 pm #

      This conversation occurred (minus the ebola) between a friend of mine and I. In spring, you can blame literally anything on pollen with varying degrees of success.

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