Mitt Romney’s Hair Speaks Out

Dear Mitt,

Most would consider me the luckiest head of hair alive. I am honored to have served for so many years as Mitt Romney’s signature, unwavering fashion statement, and I believe I’ve done the job well. Unfortunately, my current position is not offering me the creative freedom I need in a job, and I’m considering retirement. I am certainly not the kind of hair that can just wake up every day and be sprayed and combed the exact same way! That’s not me!

Perhaps this is best for both of us. Maybe what the Romney 2012 campaign needs is a fresh new do. But, without a serious change I don’t think I can stick around much longer. While you’re content to just have me wrapped up in the same salt ‘n’ pepper coif every day, that’s not how I roll. Mitt Romney’s hair needs to breathe a little. Please give this letter the consideration it deserves. I doubt Restore Our Future is a huge fan of toupees.

Spitefully yours,

Your Hair

Tags: 2012, angry, creative freedom, current position, fashion statement, funny, gop candidate, hair, head of hair, humor, letter, mitt romney, retirement, salt n pepper, writing