Tag Archives: movies

Closed Captioning for this Blog Provided By…

13 Feb

Settling down with a delicious Pepsi cola, I began to reflect on marketing in the modern day. Nowadays, popular companies such as Pepsi routinely pay TV shows, movies and writers to market their products with subtlety in their work. You can’t do anything it seems without seeing that distinctive blue can full of creamy, smooth soda stuck right in your face. Does it not seem wrong that your favorite celebrities are drinking that wonderfully cold Pepsi cola as a means of advertising? We need to know whether the people we look up to are actually drinking that wonderful Pepsi on their own accord, or being paid to do so! This constant product placement will soon blur the line between art and economics, and that fabulously refreshing Pepsi cola will be caught right in the middle of it! Darn, I need another Pepsi to cool off.

Wow, it Really is Heavy!

17 Jan

Like many Americans, I tuned in to watch the Golden Globes last week. It seems that though these people spend their whole life memorizing and reciting pre-written scripts, they can’t, for the life of them, remember their acceptance speeches. Here’s mine in case I ever win:

ANNOUNCER:And the winner, for best choreographer in a foreign language, animated, made-for-TV comedy short, is: Charlie!

ME: Oh wow! I totally didn’t expect this at all, I just happened to have a speech in my pocket. Of course, I want to thank my mom and my dad, especially. You see, this is the three year eight week anniversary of my dad getting a mild burn on his pointer finger while plugging a microphone in to record a foreign language, animated, made-for-TV comedy short, and I guess this my little homage to him. I want to thank the cast: Lonnie Tinkletown, Clarice Beauregard, Sylvester Saxenpoo. I want to thank the wonderful crew: Steve up at lighting, Lawrence heading up sound, Jaques Catanois for your wonderful scenery. A special thanks to Horatio at Smile Time Catering. Your popovers were excellent, but I felt the raspberry was a little doughy. Thanks to Mr. Wrenger, my eight grade geometry teacher, and Señorita Marquez, my charanga instructor. Hello to Hector, the custodian on set, Maggie, my cat-sitter, and Bartholomew, our accountant. Thanks so much to Rising Sunset Productions, for being the wind beneath our feet in terms of getting this film to the masses. No, no, stop playing the music, I’m not finished. A huge shout-out to Betty, the bingo-caller at the nursing home we visited. How are the varicose veins treating you? Finally, a massive thank you for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, for giving me the opportunity to get up here, and giving my fans an opportunity to hear what I have to say. See you at the after party!

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