Hey, it’s Crazy Pete of Crazy Pete’s House of Unpainted Furniture here and I want to tell you about a crazy sale I’m putting on! Wow! Unpainted maple bedframes for only $200! Wow! I guess that’s why they call me Crazy Pete! Wow!
Hi again, it’s Crazy Pete back to tell you about another great sale! Unpainted and unfinished dining room sets for only $500! Wow! This is why they call me Crazy Pete! So crazy! Wow!
What’s up, it’s Crazy Pete! Call a doctor, because I’ve really gone crazy with this latest sale! Only $199 for four unfinished chairs! Wow! Nobody does crazier sales than Crazy Pete! Wow!
Hey, hey, hey, it’s Crazy Pete. You might want to restrict my access to firearms because I’m really going crazy! Only $299 for an unsanded wooden toilet seat? Wow! Crazy Pete!
Howdy, it’s Crazy Pete and all of my loved ones are trying to keep me off the bottle – because I’m going totally crazy! $400 for a table? Wow, that’s crazy!
Ahoy, it’s Captain Crazy Pete here with another swashbuckling sale! Pirate themed playsets for the kids at only $99? Arggh! That’s a sale so crazy, I’m having dissociative episodes! I really think I’m a pirate! Arggh!
Hello, it’s Crazy Pete, and I’m running a sale so crazy, my wife and daughter are afraid of me! But you won’t have to be afraid of the prices on my complete line of lawn furniture! Wow!
Hiya! It’s Crazy Pete of Lakeview Psychiatric Facility’s Rehabilitative House of Macaroni Art! I’m running a sale so sane, you might just feel comfortable reviewing my parole application! Please?
The Lighter Side of the Moon 