No Child Left Engaged

9 Mar

Around March of every year, innocent school children are subjected to the cruel and unusual punishment that is standardized testing. Unfortunately, the schools that frequently perform the best on these exams have curricula dedicated to preparing their students. Here’s an example of what not to do:

1. Write a concise persuasive letter about whether your school should teach about drug addiction in health class.

Dear Skool Fat Catz,

50 Reasons why School sucks:

1. Homework
2. Classes
3. teachers with a stik up there Butts! Ha!
4. School sucks
5. school sucks
6. school sucks
7. school sucks!
8. school sucks so much
9. school sucks eggs
10. i hate school
11. this school smells
12. my teacher smells
13. it sucks
14-50. Our school’s administrators are so preoccupied with meeting an arbitrary blanket federal standard that they turn the educational focus away from the genuine academic talents and interests of the students in favor of mind-numbingly formulaic standardization.

The school should not be teaching about drugs cuz everyone does them already. Instead the school should spned its $ on tests that arent so dumb. Whoever made this test should be in our school, cuz their clearly on drugs!!!!!!!! Ha! Hypokrit schoolteachers! This school sucks!

I drew a butt on my scantron sheet. Eat my shorts

This school sucks so much.

– Larry “King of Drugs” Johnson

One Response to “No Child Left Engaged”

  1. teachingwritinglovetrauma March 9, 2013 at 4:04 pm #

    I don’t get it. My students all love standardized testing. It absolutely has a purpose. If they don’t pass they don’t get a diploma. Diplomas are cool right? So those test must be cool, too????????

    Ugh, ick, I just said all of that and my school didn’t even give me a bonus.

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