Dress for Duress

27 Feb

“Tip No. 781: There is no such thing as being overdressed. In 2003, maybe, in the Bad Old Casual Friday days, it   was possible. But in 2013? Today? Impossible. The three-piece knows no boundaries.” – Esquire, 3/13

SCENE: A dinner party. A large crowd is milling about in nice, but casual, dress. One man is in a sharp three-piece suit. The host is making his way toward the man in the suit.

HOST: Hey, glad you could make it.
SUIT: Hey, happy to be here. This is a heck of party!
HOST: Well, what’s up? I’m assuming you got the invitation…
SUIT (unaware): Yeah, I got it. How would I have known about the party if I didn’t get an invitation? (laughs)
HOST (nervous but indignant) Did you happen to see the dress code on it?
SUIT (confused): Hmm, I don’t think I noticed it. Did I dress wrong or something? I mean, I put on a suit and everything to look nice. It’s a party at my best friend’s house for Pete’s sake.
HOST: Oh, come on. Don’t play me like a fool.
SUIT: What? I came to your party. I wore my best suit! What gives?
HOST: It’s just- It’s just that you didn’t really follow the dress code. The invitation said upscale yet down-played. You’re here in a three-piece suit and it’s killing the whole vibe! You’re overdressed!
SUIT: What do you mean, overdressed? Sorry to insult you with my choice of clothing, Calvin Klein.
HOST: Hey- read a magazine once in a while, would you? This is 2003 for God’s sake. You can’t just wear a three-piece suit willy nilly. There’s a time and a place for a suit like that and this isn’t yet.
SUIT: Look, I’ll just leave. I don’t want to take you away from your party any longer. I’m sorry.
HOST: No, no. Just go home, change, and come back. I actually do want you here, after all.
SUIT: Well, what should I put on? I don’t know what upscale yet down-played looks like.
HOST: I don’t know… Like what everyone else here is wearing. Whatever you’d wear on a casual Friday.
SUIT (exasperated): But I don’t even know what to wear on a casual Friday!
HOST: Hey, I’m your friend, not your stylist. A man your age should be able to dress himself.

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