You Smell Great! What Are You Wearing?

28 Nov

During my Black Friday shopping, as I stopped in a Walgreens for a deal on iTunes cards, I noticed something surprising: The number of celebrity fragrances available for purchase. Some seem like good ideas, others less so, but I’ll happily hand these stars credit for being so narcissistic, they KNOW people want to smell like them.

Some of the perfumes and colognes seemed like good ideas, but were just marketed so poorly, it was laughable. For example, Britney Spears has 6 signature scents, all of which give you that sexy I-Just-Shaved-My-Head-For-Publicity smell you’ve been dreaming of. The funniest part about her fragrance line is that 4 of 6 perfumes have the word “Fantasy” in the title. I love the way the differences between “Fantasy,” “Midnight Fantasy,” “Hidden Fantasy,” and “Circus Fantasy” are made so clear to the consumer.

Others are just plain bad ideas. I love Derek Jeter, being an avid Yankee fan, but he’s not someone I’d really enjoy smelling like. My mom always makes me take a shower after I play baseball, not capture my sweat and put it in a bottle. Perhaps, it just smells like baseballs. Similar, to “Forbidden Rose” by Avril Lavigne, it may just smell like leather.

My fragrance will look like this. But much more awesome.

But, there are some people who I would happily smell like. How bad can Justin Bieber smell like, if that many people are hugging him?The word would have spread a long time ago if he smelled like trash. Besides, his fragrance “Someday” is expected to net the Canadian songbird over 30 million dollars, even after he donates a large percentage to charity. Which got me thinking, I should make my own scent!

I’m definitely at least half as cool as Justin Bieber which, by my calculations, ought to make my cologne earn over 15 million dollars! Why didn’t I think of this earlier? I can bottle my own popularity, and sell it for money! It’s the best investment I’ll likely ever make. Apparently, the key to making a successful celebrity scent is infusing yourself into the product so here’s what I’ve come up with:

This holiday season, treat that special someone in your life with a bottle of Ridiculicious, the new fragrance from the man behind the hit humor blog, The Lighter Side of the Moon. With tenderly layered scents of temperate deciduous forest, apricot hamentashen, and macaroni ‘n’ cheese, you’ll exude confidence and success just by letting people sniff you. Look for it at most fine retailers.

One Response to “You Smell Great! What Are You Wearing?”

  1. Writer Jobs November 28, 2011 at 11:17 pm #

    Excellent post today. Thank you for sharing it with us today. Love the layout of this blog very much.

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