He is the cheapest man in the world.
He goes to Costco, tries the samples, and leaves.
He rubs himself with cologne advertisements from magazines before he goes out.
He takes purses from women at the supermarket, just to get their coupons.
He feigns nausea on airplanes for free bottled water.
He is the cheapest man in the world.
“I don’t always drink, but when I do, it’s always something I stole from the honor bar.”
The Lighter Side of the Moon 
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