DIY Convention Speech

5 Sep

Some of you may know, I am (state)’s first (elected office) of (ethnicity) descent. When my (distant ancestor) came to this great country, they believed in freedom. They worked day in, day out as a (profession), even with their chronic (joint) aches. They did everything in their power to make sure I got an education, and I want every child to have that same opportunity. Who is going to bring you that chance? (Nominee)! It has to be (nominee)! It’s in your hands! (Nominee’s opponent) wants to destroy the middle class, raise taxes, and (unspeakable atrocity)! This November, make the right choice!

Example:

Some of you may know, I am Wyoming’s first Director of Weights and Measures of Polynesian descent. When my Great Uncle came to this great country, he believed in freedom. He worked day in, day out as a goat slaughterer, even with his chronic neck aches. He did everything in his power to make sure I got an education, and I want every child to have that same opportunity. Who is going to bring you that chance? Romney! It has to be Romney! It’s in your hands! Obama wants to destroy the middle class, raise taxes, and assemble a slave army of your children to find and destroy the Ten Commandments! This November, make the right choice!

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